One Year I Wouldn't Give Up

As I sit here and finally get to write, my heart is extremely full!  A year ago on May 31st, we were told by my amazing OB, Dr. S, that something wasn't right with Madison.  He had done an ultrasound the previous week and her bladder was enlarged.  So, he decided he needed to do another one this appointment...only to find the same thing...her bladder was still enlarged.  He immediately called the University of Utah hospital where Colt and I would go the next day to have an MRI. We met with Dr. K, one of their radiologists, and she should us where to go.  She was amazing!  I had the MRI to look at the baby and she immediately knew what she had, they had just written about it in a textbook.  They diagnosed her with a Persistent Cloaca and told us that we are only 1 of 5 cases the U has ever seen.  Well, if that doesn't freak a mother out I don't know what would.  The then told us that we needed to meet with the OB at the U that would be delivering me so that Madison could immediately be taken to Primarys.  We went and met with Dr. C.  I liked her but she wasn't Dr. S.  We were then told that we should go take a tour of Primary Children's NICU so that we could be familiar with it.  (The tour did easy my anxiety a little.)  They were so nice and welcoming.  We felt like part of a family.  We talked to one of the NNPs and told them Madison's diagnosis.  They told us that was something they saw fairly often (1 in 20,000 births).  Again, that eased my anxiety a little more. This began our amazing journey!

After meeting all of these new amazing people, we thought we would have about 3 1/2 weeks to prepare for what life would be like.  Well, Madison decided to come 12 days early.  We left for the hospital at 4:00 am on June 10th.  I was having labor pains in my back and they were coming about every 5 minutes.  We got to the hospital and they put me in a room where they wanted to monitor me.  I was there FOREVER and they weren't doing anything.  Finally, about 10:00 am, Dr. C's midwife called to schedule my C-section for the following Thursday.  I immediately called back to tell them that I was there already and that the nurses and residents working wouldn't do anything and I had been there for going on 6 hours.  Within minutes Dr. C was there and she informed me that they were preparing the operating room.  By 11:15 I was headed to the operating room to be prepared for surgery.  Colt couldn't come in with me until I was prepared and they had the sheet up.  He had to stand by me and hold the "urine bucket" incase I threw up.  (They make you drink this nasty stuff so if you do throw-up it is sanitary...well, that is what makes you throw-up!!!!!)  At 12:07 pm, our little Madison was born.  They immediately took her away and sent her to the U's NICU.  They prepared her for transfer and the Life Flight Transfer Team came and "walked her across the bridge."  Before they took her though, I got to hold her for about 2 seconds because I thought I was going to throw up.  She was so little and she looked so perfect.

Colt stayed at the U with me but constantly went to see Madi at Primary's.  He would come and tell me what was going on.  Well, needless to say the next few days were a rollercoaster ride.  Our little angel had to have surgery the day after she was born.  They had to form a stoma and mucus fistula so that she had a place to get rid of all the waste.  When there were preparing her for surgery, they found multiple other problems and we would find out about each of them in the days to come.  I still remember when Colt came back to the room on June 11th and I could tell something was incredibly wrong.  I asked him what was going on and he kept saying nothing.  I knew something was wrong so I continued to ask and he broke down and told me about Madison's heart defect that they had found.  Didn't this little girl have enough problems?  She didn't need one more thing! I remember a calming feeling come over me and I told Colt that everything would be okay and our little girl was in good hands.  Through the days and weeks ahead we found that Madison had kidney problems, heart problems, bowel/digestive system problems, spine problems, and hearing problems.  What a miracle she was!!  After 5 days of Colt and I staying at the U, it was time to go home.  We went to see Madison before we left and then took the long journey home.  That was probably one of the hardest days I had experienced so far during this journey.  Colt and I bawled the whole way home.  I had to leave my brand-new-baby at the hospital!  Gut-wrenching!

Over the last year, we have endured many things.  I wouldn't trade any of them for the world.  We have had three surgeries, countless doctor visits, many prayers and blessings, and met many amazing friends along the way.  (We aren't finished yet!)  As we celebrated Madison's one-year-old birthday yesterday and friends and family came to visit, I can't help but think about the lives she has already touched!  She is one amazing and happy baby!  I am so glad that she is mine!  I am also glad that we have such amazing family support!  We are so lucky to live close to family and see them on a daily basis.

A year ago I don't think that I could know the amazing journey that we would have to take.  I didn't think I could do it!  I knew it would be hard but I knew that if I endured it well, it would be worth it!  It is so worth it!  A day doesn't pass when I don't thank my Heavenly Father for my amazing gift.  She is a miracle and I am so glad that I am her mom.  There are so many people that love her and I am so thankful for them.  She is always happy and full of energy...she can get almost anyone to smile!  She loves to wave, blow kisses, give kisses, eat, crawl, talk, and she wants MORE of everything!  She is my angel and I am glad that I have been entrusted with her life.  This last year has not been easy...and the next couple of years will not be easy, but I know that they will be worth it.

I am thankful to all of those that have been there for us.  Please know that we are thankful for you.  I am so thankful for the gospel in my life and for all that it teaches me.  I would be so lost without it.  I am thankful for the blessing of eternal families and I am so glad that my little family can be together forever.  I am thankful for the knowledge I have of prayer and the opportunity I have to speak to my Heavenly Father anytime I want.  I know that He knows me, He loves me, and He is there for me whenever I need him.  He has helped me endure this trial and I thank Him everyday for it.

(Many pictures to come of the last couple events in our family!)